Category Archives: Weight Loss

The “C” Word

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I really dislike a lot of healthy-living blogs. I’m sorry – I said it. But it’s true. I am astounded by how obsessed some people are with food and exercise. It makes me sad and annoyed, all at the same time. They just aren’t balanced at all.

I try to represent a balance on my own blog. I place good mental health and good physical health on the same level. I don’t consider myself healthy if I am stressed or obsessed with something – with anything. That being said, it took a lot of strong will and dedication for me to lose weight and to become a (pseudo) runner, and it still takes will power to maintain my weight and my fitness level.

So sometimes I find it hard to portray both sides – the relaxed me, and the dedicated me. I don’t want to come across as crazy, but at the same time, I want to talk about my goals and commitments.

Here’s my confession:

I started counting calories this week. Yes, that’s the dreaded “C” word I’m speaking about. Even after stating last week that I’m a “points” girl (#weightwatchers4lyfe) and have never tracked calories.

Booooring.

Booooring.

At first I didn’t even consider blogging about it – lately I feel sort of “over” talking about the ins-and-outs of my lifestyle – but then I thought it might be useful to share my opinion. I know people do like to hear my experiences, but I still felt strange thinking about blogging about counting calories when I am already at a healthy weight.

I’ve read on some blogs that counting calories can seem like a controversial thing when you aren’t overweight. Even after using myfitnesspal.com for only a few days, I can see how it can get obsessive for some people. At first, it also seems time consuming.

Here’s the flip side: tracking works when it comes to weight loss, which is arguably a basic science (calories in, calories out). I think it’s silly to say you don’t want to lose weight (if you have to) just because you can’t be bothered to do some math. But I do understand that some people take it too far.

I started doing it because I stepped on the scale on Sunday and was two pounds above last week’s weight, and four pounds above what I was a month ago. It happens when I run a lot – I eat more and gain a little weight. No big. But I had already unsubscribed from Weight Watchers Online, so I decided to take the free road to try to make sure I didn’t gain any more.

It’s just important, as always, to find the balance, so I can enjoy my health while also enjoying my life.

I’m really not completely sure what I’m trying to say. I guess I just felt like rambling about an issue I’ve been thinking for a while – the balance between dedication and obsession.

Has anyone ever had similar feelings about the tools they use to maintain a healthy lifestyle? Have you found the healthy-living balance?

Healthy Q&A

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Remember the Myspace days when you’d fill out those overly intrusive surveys about your crush, the last person you kissed and the colour of your underwear? They switched over to Facebook for a while, but I haven’t seen them in a long time, possibly because I’m now at the ripe ol’ age of 24.

Anyway, I saw this health-themed quiz over on Amanda’s blog and bookmarked it for a quiet day. If you try it yourself, link it in the comments! I am a journalist after all, i.e., I have a licence to be nosy.

  1. What did you eat for breakfast? The same thing I’ve eaten pretty much every day for the past couple of months. Oikos vanilla Greek yogurt + granola + frozen berries. Today I mixed it all together right in the yogurt carton, because I’m fancy like that.
  2. How much water do you drink a day? A lot, but less than I used to. I’d say I probably chug back three litres a day. I had to reduce it a bit because my new work’s bathroom is too far away for my lazy legs. I’m serious.
  3. What is your current  favourite workout? My only current workout is running, unfortunately. I do it five times a week. I really want to get into strength training but I think it’s going to have to wait until the new year. My favourite workouts this year, though, were when I was training for the triathlon and got to switch it up every day between running, biking and swimming. I also used to love Group Power (Body Pump) classes.
  4. How many calories do you eat a day? Noooo clue. I lost my weight on Weight Watchers and have never been a calorie counter – it was all about “points” for me. Now that I’m maintaining my weight, I just eat to fuel myself and feel good. If I feel like I’m gaining, I just try to be more mindful. No math here.
  5. What are your favourite healthy snacks? (P.S. I changed all the “favorites” in this quiz to “favourite.” #canadian) This is a good question. Baby carrots pretty much saved my life when I was on Weight Watchers. I still eat them by the pound and am currently eating them as I type this. Lately I’ve been eating a lot of frozen mixed berries. I grew up eating tomatoes and cucumbers as a snack, so I still do that a lot.
  6. What do you usually eat for lunch? Some form of vegetarian protein with veggies (raw or cooked). Sometimes a grain is thrown in there. Example: Black bean cake with salad and cheese. Refried beans with salad and tortilla chips. Tofu with cooked veggies and rice noodles.
  7. What is your favourite body part to strength train? Legs!
  8. What is your least favourite body part to strength train? Triiiiiceps.
  9. What are your “bad” food cravings? Triscuits. Miss Vickie’s salt and vinegar chips. French fries. My cravings are always simple: carbs + salt.
  10. Do you take vitamins or supplements? Way to make me feel guilty. I need to buy some multivitamins and start taking them again. Sometimes I have protein powder, but we are currently out.
  11. How often do you eat out? We try to keep it to once a week but it’s probably more like twice (if we’re being good).
  12. Do you eat fast food? Yessir! Yesterday I had a veggie burger from A&W. I LOVE their veggie burgers. Wendy’s Baja salad is also a fave.
  13. Who is your biggest supporter? Daniel. If he hadn’t been there for me the night I weighed myself and joined Weight Watchers, I may never have started this healthy-living journey.
  14. Do you have a gym membership? Nope! After moving in September, I never signed up for the gym across the street from our new place. Running is keeping me busy right now, but I actually have a void cheque in my purse for when I finally feel the need to go to the gym and sign up.
  15. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? A lot! At least eight hours. I need my sleep.
  16. Do you have a “cheat” day? No, and I never did while losing weight either. This is a lifestyle, so there is no “cheating” built in. It just is what it is.
  17. Do you drink alcohol? Yes, but a lot less than I used to. I usually only drink to get drunk, so I don’t usually have a drink if I’m out for supper, but I will if I’m going out on the town (which is rare these days).
  18. Do you have a workout buddy? No, but I think it’s turned out better that way. I don’t depend on anyone, but when I get a chance to run with my parents or Dan, it’s a treat.
  19. What is the best thing that has changed about your life since committing to a healthy lifestyle? The best parts have mostly been mental.
  20. What was the last healthy thing you did? You name it – ate a protein-filled breakfast, drank some water, moisturized my lips, thought happy thoughts (Christmas!), thanked my fiancé. Healthy choices – both physical and mental – all around.

In A Slump

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Lately I’ve been in a bit of a rut when it comes to healthy living. When our life was shaken up a bit in September with our decision to move, I fell out of my routine and haven’t found a new one since.

I’ve been feeling supremely lazy about cooking; my kitchen has been cooked in only a few times. I mostly survive off of Triscuits Thin-Crisps, greek yogurt bowls, Puffins, Subway and frozen fruit. It’s getting boring.

I put my frozen fruit in a wine glass because it makes me feel like an adult.

My workouts have completely dropped off. I don’t have any goal races to keep me motivated about running. I can’t work out at night anymore because I work until 8, so I need to get my crap together and eat breakfast, work out, shower and get ready, and pack my lunch and supper before I go to work at noon. I thought it wouldn’t be that difficult but I am still struggling with this.

I’m not beating myself up too much because three weeks in the grand scheme things is not a big deal. I’m just sort of…bored…and don’t feel as great as I did when I was at the top of my game.

Other than my healthy-living rut, things are going really well. I am having fun bringing together our ideas for a fall wedding in 2013, and feel great about our new apartment and city.

I’m going to try keep blogging more regularly, because I know it’s important to express the good, the bad and the ugly of striving to maintain a healthy lifestyle (speaking of which, I wrote about those three sides of weight loss on Georgia’s blog today…I actually wrote the post a while ago so it was fun to look back on, especially the part where I mention engagement photos!). I hope to use this blog as a tool to get back in the kitchen, set some concrete goals and get back into a fitness routine.

What do you do to get motivated again?

Weight Loss Maintenance Update

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For those of you who don’t have your own story about weight loss, or who don’t have any interest in Weight Watchers, you may want to skip this post. For the rest of you, I figured I was due for an update about how weight loss maintenance has been going for me. So here it is!

When I was losing weight on Weight Watchers, I found maintenance to be the most mysterious thing. I always thought that once you lost weight, you’d magically be that weight for the rest of your life. You could forget about Weight Watchers and go back to living your life, surrounded by french fries, cheese wheels and baguettes.

I wish.

I quickly realized I was wrong, and that I had a ton of questions about the process of maintaining weight that I knew I’d inevitably have to tackle in the future.

So now that I’ve been on maintenance since settling at my goal weight four months ago, here are my two cents.

Maintenance on Weight Watchers technically means you get a few more points to eat everyday. I get 34 points when I’m on maintenance, as opposed to 28. If you ever want to lose again, they just subtract more points. Same thing goes for calories if you aren’t a WW member. If you go to WW meetings, maintenance also means you can qualify for lifetime membership, which is free. I am too shy to go to them though, so I still pay for an online subscription.

Most of the time, my life on maintenance is pretty routine. I am happy with my new size, but I still have days of low self esteem. I was actually surprised when I realized that my body image wasn’t miraculously cured by losing weight. I still have my days, but generally, my time as an overweight person seems like a distant memory and longer ago than just last year.

I weigh myself every Monday morning, but rarely step on the scale other than that. After spending 10 months actively trying to lose weight, it’s nice not to think about it as much anymore. Still, the scale is my chosen tool to keep me accountable on maintenance (some people prefer to go by how they look in the mirror or how clothes fit).

I am usually one pound below my goal weight. This seems to be where my body likes to be, so I rarely see a different number when I step on the scale. I should mention that on maintenance, I don’t track my points – meaning you don’t have to be on Weight Watchers to understand my routine. I run about five times a week, and I eat things in moderation. I have a pretty laidback attitude about it all. Out of all the people I’ve heard of who have successfully lost weight and kept it off, I feel like I’m among the least strict.

If I do step on the scale and see a higher number,  I spend the following week, or at least Monday to Friday, tracking my points. I make meal plans, and try to stick to them. By the next Monday, I’ve always been back to my regular weight.

The other end of the maintenance spectrum is losing more weight than intended. I recently had three weeks in a row that I weighed two pounds below my goal weight. If I was losing a lot more than that, I’d probably adjust some things, but I was still nine pounds above the lowest weight that makes it possible to have a healthy BMI at my height, so I’m good. I doubt I will ever be too skinny – if I am, just remind me that poutine exists (as if I’d ever forget).

Sounds easy, find and even dandy, right? Well, not always.

The statistics on how many people gain weight back after losing it are kind of depressing. After I hit my goal weight, I confidently felt like I wouldn’t be one of those people. Then last month happened. I started meal planning less and buying less fresh food because we were in the middle of moving. I started craving ice cream and I began eating foods I had steered clear of while losing weight, like Triscuits and kettle-cooked chips. Thankfully I was running a lot because of my 10K training and I didn’t gain anything because of it.

But.

Last week that confidence that I would never gain weight started wavering a bit. I moved to Saint John and couldn’t figure out a workout plan to jump into. Even though I wasn’t burning calories, I was voraciously hungry at night because of my later work schedule. Once I was out of my workout routine, I started to feel less than amped about getting back into it. And then Thanksgiving weekend hit…

When I stepped on the scale Monday morning, I was one pound above my preferred weight. I know that’s not the dramatic climax you were looking for at all…and by today I’ve lost it and more, thanks to the flu bug my whole family contracted over the weekend. However, it did get me thinking though about how easily the pounds creep back on.

I’m going to keep staying accountable to myself, weighing in once a week. Exercise is clearly a huge factor in my weight loss maintenance, and so is having a plan and staying in control. I’ll always eat breakfast, because I know it stops me from eating more later in the day. Drinking water is still my favourite hobby. And I’ll go back to the basics of Weight Watchers if I gain.

I’m also going to stay calm – I worked hard to get where I am now, and I want to enjoy it. There’s no need for me to live in fear of being overweight again. I’d rather live in the moment.

Anyone have any other tips for weight loss maintenance?

Some Thanksgiving Advice

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This weekend is Thanksgiving (also known as Canadian Thanksgiving, to you Americans). Daniel and I are heading our separate ways so we can spend it with both of our families.

I always think of Thanksgiving as a sort of “homecoming” weekend, so it’s fitting that I get to go back home, even if I’ve only been gone for one week.

Because I’m getting adjusted to a new work schedule and a new city that you apparently can’t go running alone in, I haven’t exercised since Sunday. I decided that I’d just keep an eye on what I was eating leading up to our Thanksgiving extravaganza.

That hasn’t really worked out – so I turned to the trusty Weight Watchers site for tips on how to survive Thanksgiving supper. I have them all pretty much memorized, but I like to browse around the site just to remind myself of my goals.

It also reminded me of this time last year, when I was only two months into my weight loss journey at Thanksgiving. I had lost about 20 pounds at that point.

At the time, I was pretty strict about what I was putting in my belly. Because we were heading to my in-laws who weren’t familiar with my food preferences, I pre-made a lot of food and brought it with me. As for the actual Thanksgiving dinner, I’m a vegetarian, so I passed on the turkey anyway. I think I had also been extra good that week and saved up a bunch of activity points, too.

This year things are different now that I’m maintaining my weight loss. I can afford to be a little less strict, but I’m still going to be aware of what I’m putting on my plate in conjunction with what else I’ve already consumed that day, and how much exercise I’ve managed to fit in. That’s how maintenance works for me – it’s mostly about mental planning.

If you’re worried about Thanksgiving supper, I’d recommend taking a look at the Weight Watchers site and searching “Thanksgiving.” Holidays can be extra tough when you’re trying to lose weight, not only because most traditions revolve around food, but also because your family and friends may not completely understand your goals.

My basic advice comes down to this:

1. Make a plan. Your plan may be to completely indulge for this one meal, or to skip dessert. Whatever you decide, as long as you have a plan, you don’t have to panic when you are faced with a giant pot of mashed potatoes beside a vat of gravy. Your decisions will have already been made for you.

2. Exercise. It’s a little late to tell you to make sure you get your workouts in leading up to Thanksgiving weekend, and I completely failed at this over the past few days anyway. But I do plan on getting a run in at home tomorrow morning. Even if the calories don’t balance out from just one run, you’ll feel better and be able to enjoy yourself. After dinner, take a walk with your family.

3. Stick with your regular meal schedule. When it comes to the grub, try not to go into the meal completely starving. Think about what you’ll eat for breakfast and lunch. And bulk up your plate with extra veggies – if there are any that have escaped the buttering or caramelizing process, that is. I’m getting hungry…

4. Trust yourself. If you are serious enough about your healthy lifestyle, one meal isn’t going to undo everything. It will, though, if you tend to make these excuses all the time. Monday Night Football or “National Chocolate Bar Day” may not be great reasons to indulge, but I think Thanksgiving is a perfect excuse to relax and celebrate good food with great family.

I have a full week of posts planned for next week, so I’ll see you on the other side! Happy Thanksgiving!

Farewell, sweet summer.

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Yesterday was officially the last day of summer, so I thought I’d check in on how many things were crossed off my Summer To-Do List.

Summer is not my favourite season, but it definitely has its merits. Long daylight hours, plenty of statutory holidays and lake time make it pretty awesome. This summer I also noticed how great it was to experience the season as a healthy person, compared to the last couple of years of despising wearing shorts and bathing suits, and avoiding a lot of the activities that come along with the warmer season.

Here’s how I did during Summer 2012…

Discover new music:

I did well at this! Read about it here. You guys helped me out with some suggestions.

Go to a music festival:

This was completed just last week, when my Mom and I walked around downtown to enjoy some free shows at the Harvest Jazz and Blues Festival in our city. There were definitely a few festivals I wanted to buy tickets for (Osheaga being a big one) but it just wasn’t in the cards.

Go camping:

Spoiler alert: this is the only item I didn’t complete. That makes two years in a row we didn’t make it out camping. I find weekends book up too fast in the summer and when you do have one off, you just want to chill at home.

Go on a spontaneous road trip:

We did this a couple of times, but I’d say the most spontaneous is when we went to Magic Mountain, a water park in another city. I mention it in this post.

Get a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) box:

Done, and it was yummy.

Grow my own basil:

I love my basil plant! It’s still going strong, despite the fact that I often forget to water it. I would highly recommend a basil plant – it seems very resilient, which is great because I’ve killed every plant I’ve ever had.

Do something scary and adventurous:

Our day at Tree Go was one of those experiences this summer that made me realize how much more fun life is when you’re healthy.

Plan for our new home:

Well, technically I did complete this. I had a plan, but then things got turned upside down and now we’re planning for another new home. It’s OK thought, this one’s got a view of the ocean!

Find the perfect one-piece bathing suit:

I bought the perfect black one-piece at Belezza Lingerie in Fredericton. I absolutely love it and wore it all summer. I also wore a bikini this summer, but I hope to feel more confident in it next year (i.e. have a ripped set of abs by somehow upping my protein intake while also giving up my love of carbs).

Join the 10K Running Room clinic:

I did this, and the clinic is still going strong. I moved my goal race up a few weeks, and when I move to Saint John I won’t be able to run with my group, but I still plan on completing the program.

Celebrate my Weight Watchers-versary:

I celebrated by going to the first night of the 10K clinic…I thought going out to eat would be a little strange. I wrote about my first year on Weight Watchers here.

Staying Healthy Under Stress

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My life has been a little more hectic than usual this summer.

Nothing too crazy, but it definitely threw my routine off balance. While I’m always hesitant to dole out “advice,” (I am not an expert in anything, except maybe watching Big Brother) I thought it would be helpful to share some of the things that have helped me stay healthy despite the speed bumps.

Everyone has different levels of stress. I probably have less than some, and more than others.

The big thing to remember is that we all get stressed.

When there’s a detour in the road, it’s important for me to not lose sight of my health goals. First: I breathe – I’ve heard it’s important.

Then I try to figure out how to adjust my life, and go from there.

1. Recognize your weaknesses

What happens when you get stressed? Do you go gravitate towards the fast food drive-thru? Do you get cranky? Do you lose your appetite?

Whatever it is, be aware of it, own it and don’t be ashamed.

Personally, I do a combo of all three. I lose my appetite, which means I let myself get hungry and then cranky to the point where I can’t think straight. I don’t feel like making food-related decisions when I’m that hungry, so it just gets worse. I used to remedy this by reaching for something easy to make, which I ended up being extremely unhealthy foods because they were the only ones I found appetizing when I knew that I needed to eat something. Mr. Noodles, Kraft Dinner…you get the picture.

The thing is, for a long time I didn’t even recognize my habit.

Now that I’ve admitted this is as a habit of mine, I can try to prepare for it. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking my boyfriend to take the reins on supper that night, or having easy options on hand like a grocery store salad. Try to make the best choice with what you have available, and leave it at that.

2. Drink water

I doubt I’ll ever write out a list of tips without including, “drink water.” In the grand scheme of things, drinking water is a relatively easy task to keep up with even when you’re stressed. Got a cup? Got a sink? You’re all set! Drinking water helps me ward off gross physical symptoms like headaches, bloating and fatigue, which are not all that desirable when you’re stressed.

3. Plan ahead

There is nothing worse than wasting time while trying to decide if you’re going to go work out. Do you know what I mean? If I don’t have a plan in place, I could spend an hour laying on my bed, fulling dressed in running clothes, staring at the ceiling and trying to decided if I’m going running.

I don’t have time to do that when I’m busy, and frankly, it’s annoying. Instead, I have a simple paper calendar that I write my planned workouts on at the beginning of every week. To me, they’re non-negotiable. I also try to knock them out as soon as I can, so in the morning on weekends, or right after work on weekdays. They help clear my head and give me those great endorphins.

When you’re busy, work outs can drop off. If I’m contemplating skipping one, I really try to convince myself that I can’t spare 30 minutes out of a 24-hour day…and most of the time, I can’t convince myself of that. I don’t think many of us can.

With that being said…

4. Make compromises

Trust yourself to cut back when you need to. For me, my running program is non-negotiable, but I knew last week that I could skip an extra gym workout I was thinking of throwing in.

Instead I stayed home and did some packing to ease my worries about how long it would take to get it all done, then I  sat down and took some time for me. I also had a lot of phone chats this past week. I think this was more beneficial than if I had gone to the gym and come home still feeling overwhelmed about everything that needed to be done. I know I got good work outs in on the other days.

5. Don’t throw it all away

I know that life is never going to stop throwing curve balls my way. I’ve had it pretty easy so far, and things could get worse in the future…although I try to think optimistically.

The point is, I can’t really afford to give up my healthy lifestyle every time things get hard, because that might be often. Can you?

If I did, I’d lose the progress I’ve made and I know I’d become more unhappy and even more stressed.

I’m glad I’ve found a lifestyle that works for me, even when I need to roll with the punches.

Like I said, I’m no expert, so I’d love to hear what you guys think…what type of person are you when you’re stressed? What do you do to stay healthy when you’re feeling overwhelmed?

One Year Weight Watchers Anniversary!

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On this exact day last year I woke up and started my new lifestyle. I planned all my meals for the day and tracked the Weight Watchers points in the online calculator. I focused on drinking a lot of water and staying positive about the whole thing. And then I repeated that process every day for an entire year.

Well, maybe not the tracking…but my brain is a points encyclopedia.

I don’t talk a lot about Weight Watchers because I’m not really your typical Weight Watchers member. I’ve never been to a meeting (I followed the program exclusively online). I don’t buy their food products very often. Since I met my goal I don’t track my food full-time any more, only when I feel the need to get back on track because I know it always works.

Somewhere along the way, probably once I started nearing my goal weight, I figured out a way to make the plan my own. I became less of a 100 per cent Weight Watchers member and more of a healthy person in general. Once I got used to the points system, I didn’t need to track everything. I started relying on intuitive, clean eating. (That’s just what worked for my body – I recommend tracking if you find you’re gaining weight).

Still, I credit Weight Watchers greatly for my weight loss. I really support the program. It was the only thing that worked for me in terms of feeling completely committed and following a program that didn’t leave me confused and unfocused. When people ask me how I lost weight, I always mention Weight Watchers. It will always be a part of my history and I am thankful for what the program did for me. I am so happy I started one year ago so I could be where I am today.

You can read more about my thoughts on the Weight Watchers program here:

Why I Love Weight Watchers

The day I reached my goal weight:

GOAL!

And a little more about my motivation for starting here:

About Me

I am celebrating this anniversary by starting my 10K clinic at Running Room tonight! I am so exciting to start running with a group again. I noticed that I was getting a little lonely while running lately. I am also a lot less nervous than I was when I started Learn to Run last year. I am forever thankful for the foundation that clinic gave me. My 10K goal race is in October so let’s hope I stay injury-free until then!

Photos from my time at the lake this weekend. 

 

24.

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I originally planned a longer post for my birthday yesterday, but it turned into a bit of a rough day, so I took time away from blogging. It’s important for me to get this post recorded though, because I felt like my 24th was a bit of a special birthday.

I haven’t blogged about it in detail before, although it is mentioned briefly on my About Me page, but my 23rd birthday last summer was my tipping point. Call it vanity, call it pride – I did have an amazing birthday party last year with my family at the lake – but what stands out most in my memory are the photos. I was not happy with what I looked like in photos, which were the only tangible proof of a great weekend spent with my family.

This year I was able to sit at the same table, on the same deck, at the same lake, blow out what were probably the same candles, and not worry about the camera. This was partly because I’ve made great strides in terms of self esteem, but also because the week after I turned 23, I made a fresh start. I actually did something about my unhappiness; I stopped putting it off.

I said to myself, “Next year things will be different.” And they were. They are.

This past year was full of big ups and big downs. Swinging successes and unnerving uncertainties. I learned a lot.

Here are a few things I’m taking away from the year I was 23:

1. There’s no time like the present for a fresh start.

2. I have more will power than I think.

3. I should lean on the people who aren’t afraid to tell me they’re proud of me. And stop worrying about pleasing the rest.

4. Positive thinking is stronger than muscle.

5. It really does get better.

P.S. I am lucky to be commuting to work from my parents’ cottage for the next week and a half, so posting may be sporadic while I soak up the simplicity of a cell phone-less, wifi-less environment. 

Onward and Upward!

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Weight loss maintenance is hard.

Did you know that? I didn’t always know that.

I mean, I’ve heard the stats and understand that maintaining a significant weight loss just isn’t in the cards for some people. Research says most people will gain some or all of it back. I just never wanted to entertain that possibility in my mind. And I honestly haven’t been that worried or obsessed with thinking about possibly gaining it back since switching to maintenance a few weeks ago.

I feel like I have a few things working in my favour. I wasn’t overweight for very long. I knew I wouldn’t go back to the way I used to eat (and not work out) before, because I just wouldn’t enjoy that life if I tried it now. I prefer the way I live now –  simple right?

NOT SO FAST, MOLLY. You think you’ve got it all figured out, don’t ya? I’ve discovered that while my logic is mostly true – this is my lifestyle now – there are still going to be some bumps in the road.

I had a weekend of indulgences. On Friday, I ignored the fresh vegetables in my fridge and ate out all day. That night I relished my first time drinking since Canada Day, and proceeded to drink my face off.

(All in the name of the worst book ever written.)

I felt like crap all day Saturday, literally wandered around my neighbourhood trying to shake my hazy funk and landed in a convenience store to buy a bag of chips. It was so strange to be there, buying junk food. Alone. Depressed. Hungover.

I have an injured calf which I’m trying desperately to heal by Saturday, so I didn’t go for a run to shake it all off. By Sunday, I thought the cure might be to head to a water park in a nearby city where all my dreams came true every summer as a kid.

(Still knocking back the Gatorade at this point.)

I decided I wanted to eat at a vegetarian restaurant at the end of the day. I couldn’t even finish my food! I just stared at it depressingly because I felt like the crap on the bottom of someone’s shoe.

(I really wanted to like this meal. There are vegetarian bacon bits on it for frig sakes. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.)

All of this isn’t the end of the world. Sometimes a girl’s just gotta throw her healthy ambitions out the window and stay at book club until 4 a.m. because it’s a freakin’ blast. I’m not always going to have every meal planned out. I’m not always going to get out for a run. At this morning’s weigh-in, I was up 1.5 pounds (one pound over my goal weight). I’m not going to get myself worked up over three days off the wagon (Note: I did briefly let myself get worked up about it when it all hit me last night about how I truly crappy I felt as a result of my decisions. But, at my request, the boyfriend talked me down and I was fine soon after.)

All of this is reminder of how I do want to continue living my life and maintaining my weight loss. I’d rather not spend every Saturday morning feeling like I’ve been poisoned. I’d rather not feel as thirsty as a camel because I’ve consumed enough sodium to fill the Dead Sea. I’d rather feel fueled enough to go work out whenever I want to. I’d rather feel my best.

I’ve decided to track this week because I haven’t counted Weight Watchers points in so long. It’s nice to feel in control again.

I’ll leave you with the message I sent my friend on Saturday a.m. when she asked if I wanted to cancel our breakfast date as a result of my hangover:

No way. Onward and upward!